You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
