His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
