So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
