Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
