Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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