Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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