I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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