Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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