new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
