I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize