If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
