toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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