Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
