I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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