**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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