Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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