I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
