Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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