Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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