Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
