She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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