He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
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we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
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Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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