Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You did what with his pubic hair?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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