I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
