he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
