Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
