you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
