His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
