margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
