Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
