What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
