im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Come share oat with me in your robe
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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