i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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