Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
