listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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