Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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