why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
