i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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