Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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