Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
