You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
did i walk over a car last night?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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