You really coming over, don't trick.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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