i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
