Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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