My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
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Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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