thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
