Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize