I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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