HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
