I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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