I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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