you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
