i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
