Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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