This beer is not sobering me up at all
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
