All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
