dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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