I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize