3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
His nipple licking is glorious
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