Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
