with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
